


You're in my veins (and I cannot get you out)

by YoureNotDoneFighting



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 06:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2014551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoureNotDoneFighting/pseuds/YoureNotDoneFighting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Team Arrow returns to Starling City after locking Slade Wilson away on Lian Yu, and Oliver, who is terrified of what his admission of love could mean for he and Felicity, turns to Diggle for guidance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're in my veins (and I cannot get you out)

Just shy of thirty-six hours after leaving Slade Wilson behind at the ARGUS detention facility on Lian Yu, Oliver finds himself back outside of Felicity's apartment building. He and Diggle dropped her off just a few hours earlier, and she insisted that she didn't need either of them to stay with her. She made them both promise that they'd go home and get some rest because that's what she would be doing. By herself. In her apartment. Like the 27-year-old adult woman that she was.

Diggle stood in the doorway, watching in amusement with his arms crossed over his chest as Oliver tried for ten minutes to argue with her.

"Felicity," Oliver said, putting his hands on her shoulders so she'd have to look at him. But before he could say anything else he felt her poke a finger into the center of his chest.

"Oliver Queen, listen to me," she said with that quiet force that only she could manage. "It's almost midnight. I am exhausted. You and Digg are exhausted. No one is going to get me in the next eight hours while I sleep. The last thing I want or need is you here, up another night, because you feel like you have to watch over me."

Oliver squeezed her shoulders then dropped his hands with a defeated grunt. He closed his eyes and sighed briefly. "Fine. But keep your tracker on. And you'll call me if you need anything."

"I'll keep my tracker on," Felicity relented. "But only if you promise to actually sleep!"

"Felicity."

"Oliver! Don't argue with me," she said spinning him 180 degrees and pushing him toward Diggle and the front door. "First thing tomorrow we need to start figuring out how you're going to get your company back, and the board isn't going to listen to you if you're all growly."

He and Diggle exchanged a look, and Oliver rolled his eyes at the smirk of his friend's lips. "You better not argue with her, man," Digg said.

As they stepped out into the hallway Felicity leaned up to kiss Diggle's cheek. "Good night, John."

"Night, Felicity," he said. "Oliver, I'll be down in the car."

Oliver nodded and turned his attention back toward Felicity - his girl. His girl who was being infinitely more stubborn than usual. He was rubbing off on her, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it.

She leaned against the door frame, looking at him with those big blue eyes that he could drown in if he wasn't careful. But Oliver was always careful when it came to Felicity. He had to be.

"Please try to sleep, Oliver," she said, reaching for his hand.

Oliver laced his fingers through hers and pulled her to his side. The warmth of her body surrounded him, and he wished he could hold her like this always. "I will. Roy called earlier to ask how everything went. He said I could stay with him for a while."

Felicity gave him a small smile. "Good. Play nice."

He dropped a kiss to the top of her head and reluctantly stepped away knowing if he didn't leave now he wouldn't leave. "Good night, Felicity. Tracker. On."

"Yes, Sir," she teased, giving him a soldier's salute before retreating into her apartment.

Oliver considered going to Roy's place in The Glades after dropping Diggle at home, but he couldn't shake the need that was pulling him back to Felicity. She may have said she didn't need him there, but he didn't really care. He knew he was being slightly unreasonable, but he wouldn't be able to relax, or sleep for that matter, if he couldn't see for himself that Felicity was safe.

He parked the Bentley across the street and after several uneventful hours of not taking his focus off her apartment building, heard a light tap on the passenger's side window. Oliver's eyes shot over to see Diggle looking into the window with the same amused expression he wore earlier in Felicity's apartment.

Oliver unlocked the door and gestured to his friend, who slid into the car, looking almost as tired as Oliver felt, and handed the younger man a cup of coffee.

"Oliver, it's 3 a.m."

"How'd you know I was out here?" Oliver asked, not taking his eyes off of Felicity's bedroom window.

Diggle chuckled and held out his phone for Oliver to read.

_"Digg, can you please tell Oliver that I know he's parked outside my building. If he was trying to be all Arrow stealthy, he failed because who else in this neighborhood drives a Bentley? Anyway, let him know that while I appreciate it, it's completely unnecessary because I am fine, and he just spent the better part of a week fighting bad guys and not sleeping, and really what good is he going to do me anyway, passed out in the front seat of his car?"_

The corners of Oliver's mouth turned up in spite of himself, and he rolled his eyes. "Why didn't she just text me herself?"

"Oh, wait. There's more," Diggle said with a smirk

_"I would tell him myself, but that would probably just prompt him to come up here instead. Or he'd decide to hang out on my fire escape while I sleep, which is such a superhero cliche and the opposite of what I'm trying to accomplish."_

Oliver handed the phone back to Diggle and scoffed.

"C'mon, man. You know she's right," he said. "And I wanted to talk to you anyway.. About what happened at the mansion."

Oliver sighed heavily and swallowed the thick lump in his throat. He figured Diggle would want to discuss it, he just didn't think it would be so soon. To be honest, Oliver wasn't even sure he'd fully wrapped his mind around what'd happened once he and Felicity stepped inside his family's home. The plan came together so quickly in his mind that he had to act fast before he could talk himself out of it.

_"Do you trust me?" he asked, grabbing her hand as they stood in the middle of Queen Consolidated._

_"Of course. Do you have a plan?"_

_"Yes. But you have to just trust me, Felicity." She squeezed his hand and that's all he needed. As they pulled up to the mansion, Oliver chanced a glance at her and could already see the confusion in her eyes, though she still didn't ask any questions. A feeling of dread settled in the pit of his stomach as he pulled her inside the house, but Oliver knew this would be their best shot at getting close enough to Slade to inject him with the cure._

_Oliver expected that Felicity would push back when he insisted that she stay behind for her own safety, in fact, he was banking on it. What he wasn't expecting, however, was to actually mean it when he told her, "He took the wrong woman." And as he pressed the syringe filled with the Mirakuru cure into her palm Oliver couldn't stop the whispered words from falling out of his mouth._

_"I love you."_

_As soon as he thought it, before the words reached her ears, he knew he meant that too. And by the look on her face he could tell she believed him._

_With an almost imperceptible smile he asked her, "Do you understand?" What he wanted to say was, "Do you understand what I'm asking you to do? Do you understand that if you say no we'll leave right now and find another way? Do you understand that I love you?"_

_"Yes," she said immediately, answering all of his unspoken questions with just one word._

The sensation of coffee spilling into his lap snapped Oliver back to the present. "Shit."

He blinked a few times to regain his focus, ignoring the hot liquid that soaked into his jeans and turned to Diggle who waited patiently next to him. "She knew exactly what she was doing. She knew what I was asking her to do."

"That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it."

"Did she.. Did she tell you?"

"She filled me in on the plan. She said that the two of you had to convince Slade that Felicity was the woman you love so he would take her, giving her the opportunity to use the cure on him," Diggle said. "As much as I hate that Felicity put herself directly in the line of fire, it was smart. And it worked."

"It worked because she's amazing," Oliver said quietly. "He completely underestimated her."

"She is brave, Oliver, probably made even braver by the fact that instead of locking her away somewhere until it was all over you trusted her to do her part."

Oliver suddenly felt exhausted. He didn't know if the events of the past few days, weeks, months were finally catching up to him or if it was something else all together, something that had been weighing on him for nearly two years. The night in the mansion was the first time Oliver had faced the feelings he'd been pushing down for so long, and it was terrifying. He scrubbed a hand across the back of his neck and took a deep breath to try and loosen the knot that was tied tight in his chest.

"Felicity is so good - everything about her is good and honest and true," he said, pulling both hands across his bruised, battered face. "And I don't deserve any of it."

"I thought you were through with the self-loathing, man," Diggle said crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's not self-loathing, Diggle. It's the truth," Oliver said, glancing up at her apartment window for the hundredth time since he'd parked his car across the street. "She trusts me with her life, even though I never asked her to. But three days ago I handed her that syringe and she didn't even hesitate."

"Oliver, Felicity trusts you because she knows she's an equal member of this team," Diggle said. "You said it yourself that she knew you would've had her out of that mansion in a second if she'd had any doubts, but she didn't because of the trust you had in her when you handed her that cure."

He gave Oliver a second to respond, and when he didn't Diggle continued. "I know you think you're protecting her by keeping your feelings locked away, but Felicity isn't going to let anyone, not even you, decide what's best for her. She believes in you, Oliver."

Oliver looked at his friend, his brother in arms, and knew he was right. "It was easy, at first, to keep her at arm's length. But she sees me, Diggle. She always has. She sees deep down into me and finds things that no one else does, things I can't even see in myself. Every time I falter she's there. Every questionable decision, every doubt. Every time I reach the edge she pulls me back over. Without her I am nothing."

He let his head fall back to the seat's head rest and squeezed his eyes shut, letting his mind drift to that day and to the emotionally-charged moments between the two of them leading up to their conversation at the Queen mansion - In his secondary lair, when she pleaded with him not turn himself over to Slade. It one of several times that day that Oliver considered kissing her because he was certain it would be the last time he ever saw her. After the van rolled over on the bridge, when, for a split second, Oliver thought he might have lost her. Then again, in the clock tower, after Diggle left to retrieve Roy, when she used her loud voice to tell him that he wasn't done fighting.

 _"You are not alone, and I believe in you,"_ Felicity said, looking up at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Before he could react, her arms were wrapped around his neck, and he was taken by surprise. He quickly decided to allow himself one unguarded moment with her, while it was just the two of them, and his gloved hands wrapped across her back, pulling her tighter, as he buried his face in her neck.

Snapping out of his brief reverie for the second time, Oliver rolled his head to the side. Diggle looked at him with one eyebrow cocked.

"I told her that I loved her," Oliver said, finally.

"I know."

"I meant it."

"I know that too," Diggle replied, clapping his friend on the shoulder before reaching for the door handle. "But judging by that non-conversation the two of you had before we left the island, you better tell her again, and soon. That girl will never walk away from this or from you, but she sure as hell won't wait around for you to get your stuff together forever."

"John?" Oliver said as Diggle climbed from the car. "Thank you. For everything."

Digg nodded his understanding and looked briefly up at Felicity's apartment before turning his attention back to Oliver. "I know you well enough to know you're not going anywhere tonight, so my suggestion? Be at her door, no earlier than 9 a.m. with a box of donuts."

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Oliver laughed. He laughed at his friend's words, and he laughed at the thought of the tongue-lashing he'd almost certainly receive from Felicity, probably still clad in her pajamas and fuzzy slippers, for spending the night outside her apartment. He checked his watch, 4:15 a.m.

Oliver spent another 45 minutes staring up at her window before he was satisfied that she would be safe while he made a run to her favorite bakery. He knew waking her up so early was risky, but it was worth the look on her face when she opened her door and saw him holding out a box of chocolate frosted, cream filled donuts.

Felicity plucked one from the box and pushed the door open, allowing Oliver to enter. "You know, I had this grandiose lecture planned for you about why it's not OK to stake out someone's apartment days after said person was kidnapped by a crazy, rage-filled supervillain," she said taking a bite of her pastry. "But then you show up here, with these damn donuts, and I can't for the life of me remember why I was mad to begin with."

Oliver flinched ever so slightly at the mention of Slade taking her, but shook it off and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Please, Mr. Queen, make yourself right at home," Felicity deadpanned as she poked around in the box for another donut.

He took a sip and when her full attention was on the food in front of her, he allowed himself to really take her in for the first time since leaving her at his mother's house. The cut on her forehead was now bandaged. Her blonde hair was slept on and loose around her shoulders, her feet clad in the panda slippers she often wore in the foundry during the winter months. And it took Oliver a moment longer than it should have to realize that the shirt she was wearing didn't belong to her.

He pushed off the counter, stopping beside her at the kitchen table. "You know, this is a very expensive shirt," he said tugging on the sleeve of the light blue button up Felicity had worn as Sara sewed her wound up the night she was shot by the Clock King.

Felicity nearly choked on her donut. Her cheeks flushed crimson, and she was suddenly fully aware that she was standing in her kitchen wearing Oliver Queen's clothes. "Um.. I. Er.. I just grabbed something when I got home last night. I can go change. You can have it back if you want. I mean, God only knows how much this shirt costs, and now that you don't have any money, you probably want to sell it on eBay, or something.."

"Felicity, I was kidding," Oliver mused, putting his hands on her shoulders to ground her.

"Good.. Because, I kind of planned on keeping it," she said, fussing with the hem of the shirt, which pulled up enough for Oliver to see that she was wearing a pair of black shorts underneath. "You shouldn't leave $200 shirts lying around the foundry, anyway."

"Oh?" He smiled that smile he doesn't even realize he's saves just for her, and plucked the last of her donut from her fingers, popping it into his mouth.

"Yeah," Felicity said quietly, smoothing the fabric of the shirt back down before looking up to meet Oliver's eyes. "It makes me feel safe. Like no matter what we've just faced out there, I know I'm going to be OK - We're going to be OK."

He could feel every ounce of tension leave her body as he pulled her to him, and he finally allowed himself to relax. They stood like that for several minutes - once again letting their actions speak louder than their words ever did - before he finally said, "I will always keep you safe, Felicity."

He felt her smile against his shoulder, and he turned his head slightly and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

When Oliver stepped back Felicity snickered, and reached up to swipe something from his face. He quirked an eyebrow at her as she stuck her finger into her mouth and burst into a fit of laughter. "If only the criminals of Starling City could see you now. The Arrow isn't going to seem very intimidating with donut frosting all over his face."

He smirked and ran a hand over his cheek to rid his face of the rest of the chocolate frosting. He wasn't exactly sure how it got there, and he didn't care. All that mattered was the sound of beautiful, genuine laughter coming from the woman standing in front of him.

"Oh my God, Oliver," Felicity said incredulously. "It's in your hair too. What the hell? Go sit down and try not to make a mess. I'll get a towel."

As she retreated to her bathroom, chuckling to herself, Oliver reached up to run a hand through his hair, but thought better of it. Instead he sat down on her sofa and closed his eyes, awaiting her return. When Felicity stepped back into the living area a minute later she was unsurprised to see her vigilante hero sound asleep.

She crouched down next to him and lightly wiped the remnants of the chocolate from Oliver's face before spreading a blanket over his sleeping form. She turned to go back into her bedroom when Oliver's hand reached out and caught hers. "Don't go," he mumbled, eyes still closed.

"Sleep, Oliver," Felicity said. "I'll be right in my room."

"Stay." He tugged her hand, pulling her down next to him on the sofa. "Just stay."

Felicity curled her body next to Oliver's, and suddenly felt overwhelmed by his warmth and his scent - leather, he always smelled slightly of leather, and that expensive soap he insisted on using. Oliver immediately wrapped one arm across her back, moving her closer to him, and she rested her head on his shoulder. Her hand coming up to rest on his chest, as he covered it with his free hand. "I'm not going anywhere."


End file.
